


I'm Feeling 23

by mellababy101



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:58:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4459211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellababy101/pseuds/mellababy101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Where Harry Hart did not die, but was in fact de-aged by the bullet and comes back into Eggsy's life as an adorable 23 year old man who turns out to be reckless, an absolute flirt, and - to Merlin's utter chagrin - the epitome of being a little shit."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr prompt :) I can't get this ship out of my head and I refuse to let Harry's death be real.

_The night Harry taught him to make martinis was the night they talked about their feelings for each other. Maybe it was the gin making Eggsy brave, maybe it was the way Harry was looking at him. Either way he ended with Harry shoving him into the wall and kissing the living daylights out of him. He'd been flirting with Harry all night, teasing him, testing his patience until the older man snapped at a joke he'd made._

 

_"Well, it looks like I'm quite inebriated and I don't think you'd be willing to lend me your right hand so I think I'll go find a pretty bird who will -" He had been saying when Harry pushed him roughly into the wall. Eggsy would have said something in surprise but the older man was opening his mouth with a clever tongue across his bottom lip. He'd opened his mouth in surprise and that was all the invitation Harry needed to slide his thigh between the younger man's and grip his wrists above his head. Harry kissed like he fought, quick and efficient, alternating between smooth brushes and bites to his lower lip. When Eggsy accidentally moaned, Harry froze then, and pulled away like he'd been shocked._

_"Wha-?" Eggsy asked, taking a step forward and trying to get the man to kiss him again but Harry evaded his approach easily._

_"No, Eggsy." He said calmly, albeit a little breathlessly._

 

_Eggsy didn't quite understand why he was being rejected and well he'd always been overly hurt when someone denied him. Evidently it showed on his face because Harry took a seat and explained himself._

 

_"You're drunk, Eggsy. It's not a gentlemanly thing to do. If you ... Still feel this way once you've passed your test, we can talk about it." Harry said and Eggsy slumped into a seat and muttered 'bloody posh wanker' under his breath. Harry gracefully chose to ignore this and showed Eggsy to his guest bedroom, letting the blond pull him into a sweet, chaste kiss._

 

_"Tomorrow, when I pass the test, you're mine." Eggsy growled. Harry smiled at him then._

_"I guess you better pass the test." He smirked._

 

_Needless to say he was incredibly disappointed when he failed the test and lost Harry in the same day. Harry had said he'd sort it all out when he got back, and that didn't happen either. Well, not in a way Eggsy was expecting._

*** 

 

"Eggsy, might I have a word?" Merlin asked when he was finished debriefing him on his most recent mission to Germany and Eggsy was getting ready to head out. 

"Sure, what's up?" He asked and instantly went tense when Merlin took his glasses off. 

"I need to tell you something, and it's of the utmost importance that you keep it secret." Merlin explained and Eggsy still felt really uncomfortable but he trusted Merlin so he folded his glasses into his breastpocket and waited for Merlin to say whatever he was going to say. 

 

"Okay, this is going to be huge news, Eggsy. You'll never be prepared enough for what I'm going to say, but I need you to brace yourself okay?" Merlin warned and Eggsy felt so on edge he dug his fingernails into his palm. 

 

Merlin took a deep breath. "Harry is alive." 

 

Merlin had worked him up so much that the words, when they registered, made him lightheaded. 

 

"Wot? H - how is that possible? Why is it a secret? Can I see him? Is he okay? Merlin, what the fuck?!" Eggsy exclaimed and Merlin almost grinned at the young man. 

 

"Well ... I'm not done." He said and Eggsy instantly lost his excitement. Harry might have brain damage, Harry lost an eye, Harry lost a vital part of his brain... There were indefinite amounts of things that could've gone wrong. 

 

"The bullet should have killed him. We know that. It's a miracle he's bloody alive. But he's not the same, he -" 

 

"Brain damage? Did he lose an eye? Amnesia?" Eggsy asked, blurting out the worst case scenarios until Merlin lifted a patient hand. 

 

"Eggsy, when I said you needed to brace yourself, it was for a reason. This is something completely bewildering. I need you to keep an open mind." He waited for Eggsy to take a deep breath and then nod his consent. 

 

"Harry was de-aged into his twenty three year old body. He has no recollection of the years between now and the day he got shot. It's like he's getting a do over in life." Merlin told him and Eggsy's first instinct was disbelief. 

 

He observed the older man to hear the punchline. When he didn't get one he let a soft breath out.

 

"You've got to be taking the piss, Merlin." Eggsy shook his head, wondering if this was a test. 

 

"I know it's a ridiculous idea to accept, but it's the truth. When you see him, you'll understand." Merlin assured him and Eggsy kept his doubts up until Merlin ushered him to the medical ward. 

 

*** 

Merlin knocked gently on Harry's door and Eggsy felt his stomach tighten with anticipation. There was no way Merlin was telling him the truth, so why was he so eager to be proven wrong? 

 

"Come in!" A voice called and when Eggsy didn't recognize the voice, he instantly felt discouraged. Merlin seemed to know this because he clapped him softly on the shoulder before opening the door. 

Eggsy stared at the young man in the red robe with a wide eyed expression. He ... Looked exactly like he thought a 23 year old Harry would look like. 

"Merlin." The young man greeted with a smirk and Eggsy's breath caught at his voice. It was deep, but it wasn't as deep as fifty year old Harry, and Eggsy was afraid to hope. 

"And who are you, gorgeous?" The young man continued after a moment's pause. Eggsy raised his eyebrows and looked at Merlin for help. 

"Did you forget your name, luv? I do have that effect on people." He teased and Eggsy felt conflicted. Everything was telling him that this really was Harry in front of him but the way that the young man spoke, flirting easily, was so different from what Eggsy remembered of Harry that he felt dizzy again. 

 

"Harry, this is Eggsy. He was your sponsor before your ... Er... Accident." Merlin said delicately and Harry grinned at him. 

"Ah, that explains why you look like you've seen a ghost." Harry grinned, taking a step towards Eggsy. The blond hesitated as he looked at him and Harry seemed to realize that Eggsy was a little overwhelmed. 

"Right... I'm sure it must be weird seeing me as a young man if you knew me when I was fifty." He allowed and Eggsy nodded his head. What an understatement. 

"Well, it looks like we get to be, what was it, Merlin? Kingsman?" He turned to the be speckled man and Merlin nodded regally. 

 

The man that he loved was twenty three years old, the same age as him, and completely different than he was before he 'died.' Was he ever going to catch his breath again? 


	2. Chapter 2

Harry had to undergo training again because he had no idea what it was to be a Kingsman agent since he hadn't joined until he was twenty five. Merlin was fine with this, and Eggsy kind of figured that the older man was actually enjoying putting Harry through his paces again. Eggsy kind of wished he was as comfortable with the situation as Merlin was because he envied the conversations he and Harry had. Eggsy was still getting used to the ... arrangement ... so he hadn't talked with Harry all that often, though he inquired about him frequently enough when he was on a mission. He also chose to watch Harry go through the tasks from afar, the same way Harry had done when he was his sponsor, as opposed to showing up at HQ.

 

"How is he, Merlin?" Eggsy asked quietly, talking through the glasses and he ignored the very small sigh Merlin let out. Eggsy had asked him this at least five times this week alone.

 

"Why don't you ask him yourself, Eggsy? He asks about you just as much as you do about him." Merlin told him and Eggsy's heartbeat raced at the words.

 

"He does?" He felt pathetic being so invested in Harry, since Harry didn't remember him and he was basically just a stranger to him, but he couldn't quite help it.

 

"Yes. Look, why don't you let Lancelot take your Moscow mission when you get back? She's been with the new recruits for quite awhile and you haven't seen how well Harry's doing at all. It'd be nice to have you back in London." That and Harry was driving Merlin crazy. The boy flirted with everyone, including himself, and he was the world's worst little shit. He played pranks on the other recruits and Merlin acted like he didn't see them one because Harry was his oldest friend, and two because he enjoyed them. Harry was going to get a position as Kingsman, he knew it, so he didn't mind the things he did to the others. But he did think that having Eggsy close to Harry was important. If Harry were to remember his life, it'd be like Harry got to be an agent for another twenty five years without having to learn it all again. Merlin hadn't seen Harry become so passionate about anything before Eggsy was recruited so he knew the boy had kindled some kind of fire in him. If only he could get him back.

 

"If you think that's best ..." Eggsy replied and Merlin frowned. Eggsy wasn't doing very well and he knew it. If he wasn't asking after Harry he was asking about his mum, and nothing else. He hadn't even bothered teasing him about his relationship with Roxy, although he couldn't get Harry to shut up about it. How he knew they were together at all was a mystery to him. He knew for sure Roxy hadn't said anything.

 

"I do. You've been on missions none stop since V-Day. It's time to give you a break." Merlin said once he'd collected his thoughts.

 

"Righ.' I'll see you when I ge' home then." Eggsy said, not waiting for Merlin to say goodbye before he disconnected the line. Merlin frowned but decided he'd let it go. The boy's manners still needed improvement.

***

 

When Eggsy got home two days later, a sprained ankle and a black eye but no permanent damage to his person, he stayed away from HQ for another two. He hadn't seen Harry or Merlin or Roxy in a whole month and he was just trying to get his bearings back. He asked Merlin about Harry constantly but other than a few awkward conversations - on his part, not Harry's; the man could flirt with leaves if he wanted to - they hadn't spoken, just bugged Merlin incessantly about how each other was doing.

 

Eggsy returned to headquarters on a free day, much to his surprise. In his own training he had only had about three free days in the six month period. Eggsy went to see Merlin first thing and quickly retreated out of the man's office when he stumbled upon Roxy on her knees in front of the older man. For fuck's sake, he should have knocked. Amazingly, neither of them had turned to look at him. Merlin he could understand, the man was getting head. But Roxy should have heard the door. And head or not if Eggsy had been an assassin they would've both been dead. He'd have words with them later.

 

And then he walked into Harry because he was thinking so hard and not paying attention to his surroundings. The young man had been carrying a multitude of books, and they all went to the ground when they bumped into each other. Eggsy blushed as he bent to help with all of the books and offered Harry his hand when the man peered up at him from his crouch on the floor.

 

"Eggsy." He breathed in surprise. "I didn't know you were back." He said, looking very annoyed at this. Harry couldn't get the blonde out of his mind hard as he tried and Merlin hadn't even bothered telling him he was coming back.

 

"I ah, just got back. Sorry about that." He added, looking at the mess of books and papers he'd made. Harry had the files organized by date and there were so many it was going to be a bitch to fix but he'd never mention that to Eggsy, who was shuffling his feet and still had red in his cheeks.

 

"It's not a problem, mate." He grinned.

 

After a pause Eggsy gave him a guarded smile in return. "I trust your tasks are going well?" He asked and Harry nodded. He was trying twice as hard as the rest of the candidates. He wanted to make Eggsy proud, even though they had been in the exact same positions a whole year ago. Harry wished he could remember. To him, waking up was just like waking up any normal day. To Eggsy, it was like he came back from the dead as a young man. He knew how confusing it must be even if he wasn't having any problems whatsoever.

 

"Of course. I wouldn't want to let you down." Harry said cheekily but then Eggsy's eyes tightened and he knew he had said the wrong thing. Maybe Eggsy had said something similar to him before he lost his memory. He wished he could remember. "Sorry, did I-?"

 

"Don't worry about it." Eggsy said easily, cutting him off. "What are you up to? I thought today was a free day." He remarked, glancing at the files in Harry's hands pointedly.

 

"Ah, it is. This is, um, a bit of personal reading." He muttered, embarrassed and trying to shift the papers in his hands so Eggsy wouldn't recognize them. Of course, Eggsy had been filling these same sheets out for a whole month and recognized them immediately. He held his breath when Eggsy reached for one and looked at the date, opening it curiously and freezing when he realized these were his old mentor's mission reports. Eggsy glanced at him with wide eyes and it was Harry's turn to shuffle akwardly.

 

"Why ... Why are you reading these?" He asked, his voice low and strained.

 

Harry sighed before replying. He didn't know how Eggsy would feel about his answer. "

 

I'm trying to remember my life." He said and Eggsy recoiled sharply at the words.

 

"Oh..." Eggsy breathed and Harry burrowed his eyebrows. Eggsy tried not to think about how cute the man was. Harry was a distinguished gentleman in his late age and very fit, but at twenty three one of the first words that could be used to describe him was adorable. He had curly brown hair and eyes that looked like honey. There weren't any lines on his face at all and he had dimples - dimples! - that he showcased quite often with his flirty grins.

 

"Does that bother you? I thought you'd be glad to hear it..." Harry murmured and Eggsy shook his head. There was probably nothing more Eggsy wanted than to have the man remember the promise he made him. Eggsy didn't mind that Harry was 23 - he didn't - he just minded that he was still in love with him and the feeling wasn't reciprocated.

"No, it doesn'." Eggsy said. "I'm jus' surprised is all." And so damn hopeful I wanna cry, but he didn't add that. Harry nodded and Eggsy shuffled his feet.

 

"So uh, how are you?" Eggsy asked and Harry grinned at him, glad to be on a lighter topic.

 

"Do you wanna come drop these off at the dormitory with me? I'd love to tell you all about my training." He said and Eggsy really really wanted to, but he knew he couldn't. The other candidates couldn't even know Eggsy existed.

 

¨I wish I could, Harry, but I’m afraid you’re not allowed to discuss who proposed you, and I’m still your sponsor even if it doesn’ seem like i’.¨ Eggsy informed him regretfully and Harry tried not to seem affected by this but Eggsy could read the disappointment in his shoulders.

 

¨Ah, of course.¨ He answered politely, ever the gentleman. Eggsy gave him a smile and offered his hand and Harry scrambled adorably with his books to shake Eggsy’s hand - which, god, why the fuck was that so adorable? Harry shook his hand and Eggsy tried not to think about how nice his hand felt in his. Harry had never touched his hand back when he was his mentor and it made him sad to realize it but here, with Harry looking at him with those big brown eyes and his warm hand enclosed in his the way it was, he figured that maybe that was okay.

 

¨I’ll be seeing you, then?¨ Harry asked and Eggsy nodded. ¨I’m sure you will.¨ Eggsy agreed and Harry gave his hand one more shake before nodding and turning back down the hall.

 

***

 

Eggsy stays with Merlin to watch the next task and he can’t wipe the smug grin off his face when Harry shoots Donnovan’s balloon target before anybody else. Merlin cuffs him on the back of the head but he doesn’t say anything because yes, he’s smiling like a fool.

 

Eggsy isn’t there for the parachute mission but Merlin tells him that Harry did it almost exactly the same as he did it twenty five years ago: with grace and intelligence and with another candidate holding onto him for dear life. By the end of it it’s only Harry and another candidate.

 

It isn’t until later, when Merlin is telling them about the honeypot mission and it’s only between his and Gawain’s candidate that Eggsy starts to feel nervous. He knows that Harry will win, it’s written in stone that he’ll win, but Eggsy is worried about what will happen afterward. As a rule, candidates who win the spot are supposed to go on their first few missions together, and it’s a great tragedy that Eggsy didn’t get to then but Harry certainly will. He’ll get Eggsy on missions as a companion and that’s what Eggsy is worried about. He stepped into the mentor shoes quite quickly and even Merlin can’t complain that he isn’t fit for them.

 

And even if he were to continue, Eggsy has seen Roxy blow the dude and he has quite the amount of blackmail over the both of them.

 

Eggsy is brought back to the present when Harry starts flirting with the girl from his picture, an agent who works in their tech department, and he’s not surprised to see how well he’s doing.

 

¨You’re rather beautiful, aren’t you?¨ He asks her, leaning in and asking it like he’s not even surprised by it. She should tell him to fuck off at his blatant come on but she seems enraptured by his charm and Eggsy can’t really blame her.

 

¨Do you think so?¨ She flirts with him and Harry gives her a smirk before stroking her hair away from her face.

¨I rather do, yes.¨ And Eggsy is about to close his eyes because Harry is leaning in to kiss her when the girl, Jessica, pushes down on her sedative pen and Harry closes his eyes, falling asleep immediately and drifting off on her shoulder.

Eggsy lets out a sigh of relief and he looks at Merlin, only to catch the other man already looking at him.

 

¨This is the part where you grab your precious candidate and tie him to the train tracks.¨ Merlin tells him and Eggsy swallows past the lump in his throat. Gawain claps him good-naturedly on the back and follows Eggsy to the club to pick up his own candidate.

 

Jessica has left them in a private booth and Eggsy can’t help but think that Harry is adorable under sedation with his curly hair and blazer clad body. He picks Harry up and slings his unconscious arms around his neck so he has some support before carrying him away and into the car, which takes both he and Gawain and his candidate to HQ where the train tracks are, another level lower. He and Gawain are quiet as they sit in front of each other, their candidates slumped in the seats next to them.

 

¨I don’t get to be the scary prick this time.¨ Gawain laments and Eggsy laughs.

 

¨No, I can’t see that being possible here.¨ He agrees and Gawain gives him a grin.

 

¨Well, do try to be intimidating, mate. I can’t have you throw in the competition just because you’re the least intimidating bugger in the world.¨ He taunts and Eggsy laughs.

 

¨This is Harry Hart, mate. He beat this already.¨ Eggsy says and Gawain shrugs but before he can say anything, they’re already there. Eggsy picks up Jeremy and watches as Gawain takes Harry. He doesn’t like the sight, Gawain has just thrown Harry over his shoulder in a fire man hold, but he doesn’t say anything. He ties down the boy and waits for him to wake up so he can be an intimidating fucker of his own. When the boy wakes up, Eggsy pushes the button for the train to start rolling.

 

¨What? Where am I?¨ He asks Eggsy and Eggsy laughs. ¨You’re up shit creek, man.¨ He says and that’s when the train whistle blares in the underground tavern.

 

¨Shit!¨ Jeremy cries out and Eggsy chuckles.

 

¨I can save you, if you tell me what the fuck Kingsman is, and who the fuck Mycroft Higgins, is.¨ Eggsy yells and the kid thrashes harder.

 

¨Fuck you, I don’t know him!¨ Jeremy cries and Eggsy crouches down.

 

¨Ya sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure I jus’ killed that Harry kid for saying the same thing. You sure ya wanna die? Is Kingsman worth dying for?¨ He asks and when the kid screams and the train is nigh upon him, he walks through the door that opens behind him and switches places with Gawain, who grins at him.

 

Both their contestants have passed another task. Eggsy is standing in front of Harry now and he should probably go to hell for thinking about how delicious the man looks. Harry’s cheeks are pink and he’s breathing heavily and he’s looking at Eggsy like he’s seen a ghost.

 

¨Congratulations.¨ Eggsy says, instead of propositioning him like he wants to. ¨And good job.¨ He says.

 

¨H-how? Did Jeremy pass?¨ He asks and Eggsy leans down to untie him.

 

He cuts the knots on Harry’s ankles first, trying to control his ridiculous arousal at being between Harry’s tied up legs, and rubs them gently when Harry winces to get the circulation back in track. Harry gasps and his pupils are dilating but he can easily pass it off as residual excitement from the train. He frees Harry’s hands next and helps him up when he’s still lying there.

 

¨Yes, he did. So you just need to keep beating him, okay?¨ He says and Harry looks beautiful as he catches his breath and nods at him.

 

Eggsy keeps his hand on the small of his back as he leads him back to HQ, taking the mirrored room instead of the train. Eggsy doesn’t say anything because he’s at a loss of weirds here, and Harry doesn’t say anything because he’s surprised out of his fucking mind to be alive. It’s okay though, since Eggsy doesn’t think he can duplicate any kind of conversation with as much meaning as the one’s they’ve had here before.

 

Eggsy keeps his hand on Harry until both he and Jeremy as well as Gawain are standing in front of Merlin. Merlin congratulates them both and then let’s them know they have twenty four hours to spend with their candidates, giving Eggsy a considering, pointed look. Eggsy ignores him and takes Harry to his flat, one near Harry’s old house, and near the one Kingsman put his mother and sister in. It’s a decent apartment with two bedrooms and an office, as well as a den and kitchen and three bathrooms. Eggsy is quite content with it.

 

¨Can I make you a drink, Harry?¨ Eggsy asks politely and Harry simply nods. The boy is strung up and emotionally drained but he still looks at Eggsy like he’s enraptured by his presence alone. Eggsy makes them both a martini and waves a hand when Harry still hasn’t taken a seat because yes, Harry Hart is still a gentlemen at twenty three.

 

He gives Harry the drink and their fingers brush together and Eggsy is actually worried that he electrocuted the young man with his ring when he feels electricity between them, but it’s just Eggsy’s unresolved sexual tension for his candidate.

 

¨Thank you.¨ Harry says and his voice is hoarse and god, Eggsy wants to put his dick down his throat, and what the hell, Unwin?!

¨You’re very welcome.¨ Eggsy replies instead and they both take cautious sips of their drinks. Harry downs his incredibly fast after that first cautious sip and Eggsy can’t help but smile at him.

 

¨Would you like another?¨ He asks and Harry shakes his head, making those beautiful curls bounce in a way that makes Eggsy want to run his fingers through them.

 

¨No, I’m okay.¨ He says, and his voice sounds better. He’ll watch the footage later like he always does for Harry’s tasks but right now he can’t be arsed to do so, or to admit to Harry that he does.

 

¨Did you have to do that?¨”Harry asks him, letting his hands intertwine in his lap and Eggsy very valianly keeps his eyes on his face and not in his lap.

 

¨Yah, not that long ago, honestly.¨ Eggsy replies and Harry raises his eyebrows.

 

¨Have you been on many missions since you were knighted, then?¨ He asks and Eggsy nods, aware that Harry’s legs have spread a little wider and he’s more relaxed now. 

 

"A couple, now and again. I was out of the country for most of it so many of them took a long time in planning. I can’t tell you of specifics but I suppose you’ll find out soon enough. You were doing very well on the honeypot mission, before the drugs kicked in.¨ Eggsy tells him and he’s surprised when Harry sits up straight and looks horrified.

 

¨You were watching?¨ He gasps and Eggsy frowns.

 

¨Of course. Your training has always been available to me.¨ Eggsy states and Harry slumps back in his seat in defeat.

 

¨Shite.¨ He whispers and Eggsy frowns deeper in confusion.

 

¨Is somethin’ the matta’?¨ He asks curiously and Harry is quick to shake his head but Eggsy recognizes the move as him trying to hide something and pursues the matter.

 

¨You did fabulously, Harry, I’m not sure what the problem is.¨ Eggsy says, just to see how the other man will react. Harry was never this open or expressive as a fifty year old man, so Eggsy really enjoys the emotions that flit on his face. In a couple of years he’ll be trained enough to hide them and Eggsy doesn’t want to think about that time or when it will come. When Harry doesn’t comment but his cheeks turn a ruddy red, Eggsy is morbidly curious.

 

¨Harry, you can say anythin’ to me, and I will never judge you for i’. I’m the least judgemental person in the world.¨ He says and Harry shakes his head again.

 

¨Can I make us another drink?¨ Harry asks and the flush has spread down his chest where he’s wearing a v-neck under the navy blazer he’d put on that night.

 

¨Sure.¨ Eggsy says and Harry scrambles ungracefully out of his chair and into the kitchen. Eggsy tries to remember what he last saw on his feed and decides he can’t quite pinpoint what exactly Harry is so embarrassed about, and he might ask him again when Harry’s had a couple more drinks in his system because gentleman or not, Harry would be disappointed that Eggsy lost his chav thief mannerisms in an attempt to be the perfect Kingsman.

 

When Harry comes back this time it’s with a tumbler of scotch for the both of them and something inside Eggsy aches at the sight of the man holding the amber liquor.

 

Apparently, Harry’s acquired taste for stronger liquor has existed since he was twenty some years old.

 

¨Thank you.¨ Eggsy says and waits for Harry to take his seat again. They drink again and Eggsy realizes he’s been rather rude.

 

¨I’m sorry, Harry, I seem to have forgotten my manna’s. Can I get you somethin’ to eat? There’s this place aroun’ the corner that serves the most delicious fish and chips, although we’re not really supposed t’ eat that kind of junk anymore.¨ Eggsy grins and Harry shakes his head again.

 

¨I’m not really all that hungry, but I’ll certainly join you if you’d like to.¨ Harry answers and Eggsy shakes his head.

 

¨It’s alrigh’, I’m no’ that hungry either.¨ Eggsy shrugs and Harry follows the movement with a quick sweep of his eyes before settling back into his chair.

 

¨So, is there anything you want to talk about? Do you have any questions?¨ Eggsy asks and Harry leans forward in his seat.

 

¨Ah, how often are we under surveillance?¨ He asks and wow it didn’t take long for them to return to that conversation, now did it?

 

¨All the time, Harry. You’re going to have to get used to it, I daresay. These glasses video tape everything, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Merlin were watching the two of us righ’ now. Of course, he migh’ be more interested in what Roxy looks like in his bed but then again, last I heard, she wasn’ in London either, so he migh’ be.” Eggsy smiled and Harry blushed even more, which surprised Eggsy because he’d seen the young man blush at less and tease Merlin about Roxy before as well.

 

"Um, would you mind removing them?¨ Harry asked which was the first request he’d made of Eggsy and Eggsy gave him a quizzical look but folded them neatly into his breast pocket.

 

¨Don’ like to be the subject of a camera, then?¨ Eggsy teased and Harry surprised him by ducking his face.

 

¨You know, how I present myself to others is rather different than what I’m really like." He says and Eggsy blinks and waits for him to continue.

 

"If you're trying to dissuade me from your personality I'm not quite sure you're succeeding." Eggsy comments when the young brunet doesn't add more and Harry plays with the glass in his hands. He nods, and gets up to make them another round of drinks. Eggsy doesn't mind the scotch because he knows he can afford more expensive bottles with his Kingsman paycheck anyway.

 

His mum already looks loads better and he's so happy at the moment that he feels like he might explode. He's filthy rich and his mum and sister are doing incredibly well without Dean; he has Harry Hart sitting beautiful and young before him; and he gets to live in a reality where JB is happily asleep in Eggsy's bedroom. How could anything get better? And then Harry comes back with another round and the bottle of scotch as well.

 

"Are we not allowed to get drunk, anymore, if we're Kingsman?" Harry asks intelligently and Eggsy tosses back his liquor.

 

"Truthfully, no we're not. It inhibits our reason and a Kingsman must always have his wits about him but you almost got ran over by a train and I'm on a bit of a vacation. This house has enough booby traps that it would take another Kingsman to come and off us, I'm afraid. And I think the only one who would is Roxy and I haven't done anything evil to her lately. So, for tonight, yes." Harry nods and they continue drinking and for all the acquired tastes Harry has for scotch, it doesn't keep him from getting properly sloshed.

 

Somehow, he ends up seated right next to Harry, or rather Harry is seated next to him, and their legs are touching but Eggsy is still quite sober. He has to be able to defend them both should anything happen, though he doubts it. Harry is playing with his glass and he's so jittery that Eggsy wants to tie him up again. The thought makes his cheeks go red for the first time that evening and Harry notices right away.

 

"Are you blushing, Eggsy?" He asks and Eggsy turns even redder at the question. He can't really say no, can he?

 

"What are you thinking about, then?" Harry prompts and Eggsy takes another swig of the bottle, the tumblers long forgotten in the extension of their evening.

 

"Ah, nothin'." He laughs and it's not the most eloquent thing he's ever said but he knows this Harry won't care one bit.

 

"Come on, don't be a wanker." Harry slurs and Eggsy grumbles at him and ruffles his hair, a move that is perfect for Harry to catch his hand against his face and hold it there. Eggsy is surprised enough to keep it there and he wants to keep it there forever.

 

The hard line of Harry's jaw is beautiful and soft and his hand fits there perfectly. They're staring at each other, Harry looking at him like he can see Eggsy's soul and liking what he sees while Eggsy completely enthralled by Harry's hazel brown eyes. He's looking at those eyes, leaning in and closing the distance between them, so he doesn't realize what he's doing until Harry closes his eyes and kisses him. They kiss slowly and softly, hands gripping each other like lifelines and Eggsy is drunk yes, quite inebriated from the martini but also from a couple of shots of scotch, and then from the taste of Harry's tongue in his mouth. And then he freezes.

 

Harry's tongue is in his mouth and he's kissing him and he's had his hands in those fluffy curls and fuck. Fuck.

 

He separates from Harry with a gasp and straightens out of his seat. Harry tries to follow but Eggsy is quick and coordinated while Harry is drunk and stumbling.

 

"Wait, why are you stopping?" Harry asks and Eggsy shakes his head.

 

"Forget that happened, Harry." He says, his voice cold and sharp and nothing like he thought it'd come out. Harry blinks at him before he frowns in hurt and confusion and god this is like déjà vu. He and Harry had been in this exact position a whole year ago except that Harry was never this cold. But then again, Eggsy knew that Harry flirted with everybody and that he was handsome and lethal and gorgeous, and that he didn't want a relationship like Eggsy did. There was no way and Eggsy wasn't going to get hurt and he wasn't going to let Harry make a fool of him.

 

"I don't understand." Harry grumbles at him and Eggsy takes a deep breath in.

 

"That can' happen again." He repeats.

 

"You're drunk and it is no' the gentleman's way to take advantage of a drunk person, and we are firs' an' foremost gentlemen." Eggsy says, even though it kills him to say so. Harry looks like he doesn't believe him and he'll be really surprised if Harry doesn't comment on it.

 

"If ... If that's what you want ..." Harry concedes and Eggsy wants to deny it, to tell him the truth, to wipe that miserable arch in his eyebrows and see his dimples, but he can't. He has to do this for him because that's what the old Harry would want.

 

"It is. But you needn' worry abou' it, okay? You still have your tasks to get through an' I will support you the whole way, okay?" He says and Harry nods his head miserably.

 

"Okay." And then Eggsy is handing Harry a set of pajamas, his own, and showing him the guest room. He places a bottle of water on the bedside table as well as an aspirin and Harry comes out, dressed in Eggsy's pajama bottoms and nothing else. Eggsy's mouth waters at the sight but he keeps himself in check.

 

"If there's anythin' you need, I'll be righ' down the hall." Eggsy says and Harry nods without looking at him and picks up the water bottle.

 

"Goodnight, sir." He says dismissively and Eggsy tries not to think about how much that tiny word hurts as he makes his way out of his own guest room. He really fucked up with Harry but this was what was best for him. His own broken heart didn't mean a damn thing if he could do right by Harry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief mentions of torture, and Eggsy has a panic attack. Don't read the last few paragraphs if those trigger you.

Harry Hart is knighted as Erec on the 23rd of April, 2016. Eggsy watches Merlin give Harry a signet ring, a loaded pistol of his own, and his first official Kingsman glasses, and if Eggsy has tears of pride in his eyes, he's not afraid to admit it. Harry is beautiful in his first bespoke suit and Eggsy feels like he can see the Harry that's to come in twenty five years and he's really okay with the time it will take for him to make that appearance again. After all, it really feels like he hasn't lost Harry at all. The young twenty three year old is still sarcastic and funny, and incredibly intelligent, with the sole addition of being an adorable flirt. Eggsy won't find out how reckless Harry is for quite awhile yet, so he can't say that yet. 

It's tradition for the newest knight to go on his first few missions with his mentor and Eggsy is ridiculously thrilled that he gets to do this with Harry the way that Harry didn't get to with him. Their first mission is dangerous, thrilling, and to Eggsy's utter chagrin, for Princess Tilde in Switzerland. 

When Merlin gives him the file and informs him that Princess Tilde's younger sister has been kidnapped and they are to conduct a rescue mission, Eggsy bites his tongue on all the cheek he wants to give the Scottish man. Merlin could have easily given this mission to anybody else but he chose to save it for Eggsy and Eggsy can't make a fuss in front of Harry for fear that his handler will tell Harry just why they're being given such a mission, and why Eggsy is so adamant about refusing it. 

¨Thank you, Merlin.¨ Eggsy says roughly and Harry gives him a curious look but nods at Merlin when they're dismissed. 

In the privacy of the library where Harry and Eggsy are conducting more research, Harry asks him about it. 

¨Tristan?¨ He asks, looking at Eggsy over the screen of his laptop and Eggsy twinges a little at the fact that Harry has yet to call him Eggsy again since the night before last, but doesn't say anything about it. It is Harry's choice what to call him after all. 

¨Yes?¨ He asks anyway because he'll take whatever snippet of conversation he can get from Harry anyday. 

¨Why are you adverse to taking this mission? It looks as good as any.¨ Harry remarks and Eggsy stifles an internal groan and schools his face. He is not going to blush, he's not, even if Princess Tilde did fuck him with her pretty pink strap on after he was through with her. 

¨I'm no'.¨ He argues defensively, denying the accusation and Harry's eyebrows lift at the blatant lie. 

¨You're not?¨ He asks again and Eggsy sighs but turns back to his computer. 

¨It's nothin' that would interfere with the mission, if tha's wot you're worried about.¨ Eggsy grumbles under his breath and Harry frowns at the way that Eggsy doesn't answer his question but he doesn't pursue the question the way he's allowed to now that they're both Kingsmen. He wonders when Harry will make the connection. 

They both return to their research and Harry doesn't adress him at all until Eggsy closes his laptop and removes his glasses so he can rub his eyes, but he does throw glances at him throughout the evening that he thinks Eggsy won't notice because he's engrossed with his own research. 

¨You should log out of your server before closing your laptop.¨ Harry chides him gently and Eggsy rolls his eyes. 

¨Yes, Harry.¨ He says in an exasperated voice and maybe the moment resonates something in Harry's memory because he blinks at him, stares, and then looks away with a frown. He leaves the library without a word, picking up his own laptop and shoving it into his messenger bag before making his exit. Eggsy watches him leave and he feels like his heart shatters a little bit more every time he does. He's memorized Harry's gait since before V-Day and he's not surprised to see that it is still the same, that he counts every single thing that the old Harry and the new one still have in common. He doesn't know what upset Harry just now and he dearly wants to go after him and ask, but he doesn't. He's rooted to his seat and he almost feels the need to replay the feedback on his glasses to better understand the moment, but he had taken them off and they weren't recording. 

¨Fuck.¨ Eggsy murmurs and the silent static from his ear piece lets him know that Merlin wasn't watching, and if he was, he has no comment for him. The git. 

*** 

They leave for Switzerland at 0800 hours three days later to the place where transmissions of ransom have been sent to Princess Tilde for her sister. 

Eggsy is calm and collected, reviewing his notes of the terrorist cell that has kidnapped the younger princess and mentally preparing himself. These disgusting arseholes have beaten the princess, sexually abused her, and tortured the elder princess with this information. Eggsy might be able to wrap his head around this being done to a full fledged adult, but Princess Tilde the younger is twelve years old, and Eggsy is way beyond his head here. He's going to kill them all and then he's going to replay the feed of him doing so until his anger isn't quite so red and boiling in his veins. 

He didn't say anything to Harry when he entered the plane's bunker but gave him a small nod in greeting. Harry was equally quiet over the ride but half an hour away has them speaking to each other with the welcome input of Merlin and Roxy in their ears. 

¨Are you okay, Tristan?¨ Roxy asks him, noticing that he has his hands clenched tight together in his lap. Harry looks up to regard him curiously and Eggsy has to force himself to relax, if only barely just so he can respond without Roxy being worried. 

¨I just feel that these missions always involve the words 'excessive force' in the report on my part.¨ Eggsy grunts and he can see that Roxy and Merlin agree wholeheartedly. 

¨I agree with you there, but you must execute this mission as fast and efficiently as possible so the young Princess does not suffer further.¨ She growls and Merlin doesn't say anything but he knows that it's because he's too angry to do so. 

¨You know I will.¨ Eggsy replies and Roxy makes a noise of agreement in her throat but doesn't add anything further. 

Harry is looking at him now and Eggsy wants to meet his gaze but he feels like he'll get his single minded determination shredded if he does, so he asks the pilot how much longer. 

¨We will arrive at the airport in fourty five minutes.¨ The pilot - Murray - informs him and Eggsy nods to himself. After they get to the airport and check into their hotel, they will wait for night to fall and then ride their motorcycles to the mountain terrain they are sure the princess resides in as a captive. Eggsy is full of adrenaline already and he feels the need to see the princess safe with a burning passion. 

Harry has taken to studying his notes on his laptop again, but Eggsy can see through his peripheries that he's shooting glances at him again. Merlin and Roxy don't comment so Eggsy ignores it but if he does it on the mission, he's sure any of the three of them will let him know it's inappropriate. 

*** 

Fourty-five minutes later they land, get checked in as Brian McKinely and Stewart Wright into Switzerland, and then go to the hotel. It's a beautiful fancy place but Eggsy doesn't let himself get comfortable because in about three hours, they're going to be on heavy duty dirt bikes that will take them three fourths of the way to the princess. The rest of the way will be treacherous. They have to climb up the side of an inactive volcano to get into a heavily protected cave and then rescue the princesss. Merlin's notes estimated a small army of hostiles and it's quite an extravagent mission for a shiny brand new agent. He respects Merlin all the more for it. 

When Harry sets his things down on the right side twin bed and looks around the room, Eggsy does the same on the left side. They finally speak to each other here and Eggsy knows Harry would prefer to do it with his glasses off so he could be off the record with Eggsy, but they can't do that. If their glasses ever go blank on a mission, the other Kingsmen are too assume that they're either dead or in need of rescue. 

¨Tristan?¨ Harry asks and Eggsy looks at him from his seated spot in the middle of his bed, looking up from his tablet screen. 

¨Erec?¨ Eggsy replies and Harry bites his lip before coming over to sit on the edge of Eggsy's bed. 

¨Are you ... nervous, at all?¨ He asks shyly and Eggsy nods. 

¨You'd be a fool if you tried to say you weren' afraid of the possibility that you migh' die at any moment in the next few hours.¨ Eggsy tells him wisely and Harry nods. ¨I think of it this way: You might die soon, but you are not allowed to just lay down your sword and hand yourself over to death's waiting arms; you fight it with your last dying breath and attempt to finish your mission. We stand for life and peace, and it is our right as well as duty to preserve it. This little girl is scared, she's been hur', and I would love to torture the shite ou' of the arseholes who did that to her, but we don' have time for that today. So nervousness or not, Princess Maya deserves to have the bravest men coming to her rescue.¨ 

Harry looks much more confident when Eggsy is finished and he nods gratefully at his mentor. Eggsy's eyes soften and he pats Harry's hand absently before he excuses himself to the restroom to give himself his own pep talk. He can do this. He's going to rescue the princess, make sure Harry is okay on his first mission, and then he's going home and showing Daisy how to throw a punch. 

He looks at himself in the mirror and tries to think of his own first mission. Merlin had said, 'Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. He was right.' 

And Eggsy had never doubted himself since. He was one of the best agents Kingsman had to offer and he and the rest of the knights knew it. His reflection finally showed him a person he could be without hating himself and it made a huge weight lift off his shoulders. If Merlin and Roxy were watching, they chose not to say anything and respected his privacy. 

Eggsy left the bathroom feeling completely fine and waited patiently, once more, for night to fall. When it did, Harry and he were mounting their sleek black dirt bikes and getting ready to make their way for their first part of the journey, Merlin in both their ears. 

¨Okay, gentlemen. Just a recap, then. You are to engage and subdue all hostiles surrounding Princess Maya. You are to make sure she doesn't come to anymore harm and then once all hostiles are out of the equation, we will send a helicopter to retreive the three of you. Tristan, remember to keep a cool head, and Erec, do not hesitate to ask for direction if you need assistance.¨ 

They both nod and Merlin doesn't see it but he knows they cannot speak right now so he takes their silence as agreement. 

They have an effortless ride to the middle of the side of the volcano and stop when their glasses read that they have reached their highest altitude. They dismount quickly and quietly, nodding to each other to signify that they are ready to continue. They can see each other easily, since the glasses provide nightvision, and Merlin encourages them. 

¨God job, agents. You have an hour to make it to the cave if you are to remain on estimated time completion.¨ He says and Eggsy taps his glasses twice on the bridge to alert him that he received the message. Harry follows him easily and quickly, grabbing at the handholds that Eggsy grabs first and then scrambling up the mountain behind him. They're scaling the side of the mountain without any attatchment to the actual inclining rock. It's terrifying but thrilling, and Eggsy feels adrenaline in his veins again but he subdues the energy rush and forces himself to climb at a steady pace. 

¨Six hundred feet until flat surface.¨ Roxy informs him quietly so as not to startle him. Eggsy doesn't tap his glasses this time since he quite needs both of them at the moment but he lets a breath out at her information. They've been climbing a while yet and he'll be glad to be on ground again, even if it is in the middle of a forest where a small army awaits them. 

They climb the rest of the way and Eggsy hesitates before pulling himself over the edge to get them to safety. He fiddles with his watch and shines an analytical laser beam over the terrain he's about to step on. 

¨Trip wire mechanism, identified.¨ Roxy says in his ear. ¨Take preventative measures.¨ She orders. 

Eggsy quickly disarms the wire with a couple of strategic beams in his watch. Merlin had gotten busy lately and developed newer technology which had saved countless Kingsman in the wake of Valentine's chaos. Eggsy is incredibly grateful for it when the trip wire is deactivated. 

¨Trip wire disabled.¨ Merlin says and Eggsy finally pushes himself over the edge and rolls onto solid ground. Harry follows him a moment after and they lie side by side to catch their breath for five seconds before they need to get up. Eggsy catches a glimpse of the stars in the treeline and he can't help but notice how beautiful this volcano side is. If only he could note it to come back later. After this mission is complete though, he knows the feeling of awe will be gone and replaced with disgust for what happened to Princess Maya here. 

They get to their feet and place their weapons back into their hands and continue in a cautious gait. 

When Eggsy's eyes show an infrared light ten thousand feet in front of them, he stops and motions for Harry to stand beside him. He waits for Harry to see what he sees and then returns the nod that Harry gives him. 

¨Hostiles identified within ten thousand feet. Show time, boys. Dissemble the army from treeline and rescue the princess.¨ Merlin says, his voice eery in their ears as they make their way closer to the base where they can see a wide opening in the granite wall. Harry and Eggsy stop at three hundred feet, still undetected, and climb the trees right in front of them to do as Merlin suggested and shoot from twelve feet high in the trees. 

They do so quietly and with the speed that comes from their rigorous training. When they've identified those with weapons, and give each other one last look, they start shooting. Instantly, six of the guards posted are down and six from the inside come back out to replace them, but they're instantly shot down as well from the waiting Kingsman outside. The next six, Eggsy assumes, are smarter, because they start shooting at them from the lip of the cave where only the guns are visible. Eggsy and Harry drop from the treeline, then, and run around in a circle to avoid the bullets that are still cascading into the tree line from where they last shot. 

 

¨Tristan, you have two incoming on your right.¨ Harry tells him as he runs beside the man and Eggsy realizes he's right when a bullet scrapes the armor that his suit is. He shoots down his attackers a milisecond after and then they're brought to awareness that a group is approaching them from his side. 

¨Duck!¨ Eggsy gasps and Harry does as he's told while Eggsy does the same. 

¨Crawl under a body, shoot from the ground.¨ Eggsy advises and he's incredibly glad that Harry is so good at following orders. They subdue the group and follow the perimeter of the cave from the side they were attacked on, only to end at the lip of the cave, which is dark again when before it was lit like a beacon. 

¨Tristan, Erec, good job. The glasses detect nuclear devices within the crater, so on top of rescuing the princess, your mission now includes deactivating the device so it can be brought to HQ for inspection. Good luck.¨ Roxy says and Eggsy takes a deep breath. He's very aware of how close Harry is and he's thankful for his presence now. If he's to die tonight, it'll be with the man he loves behind him. 

 

Eggsy motions for Harry to follow him and the young brunet does, running quietly behind him until they're exactly 180 degrees behind the cave. Eggsy had done enough research on this setting to know that their were two entrances to the cave: one was the actual cave entrance and the other was the biometric door that only opened to the lead members hand, Jedidiah Maslow, a russian spy who was responsible for the ransom notes that Princess Tilde the elder had received. 

Merlin and Eggsy had learned from their first mission together that biometric security was a bitch. They then developed a linear program that could easily bypass the security, an algorithm that nobody else knew existed and that had only been in creation for the last two months. Still, when Eggsy entered the algorithm into the waiting security outlet, he was still surprised that it worked. The door opened and their were lights inside this side of the building as Eggsy made his way in, making sure the coast was clear before letting Harry follow him in. 

¨It worked.¨ Merlin breathed in his ear and Eggsy allowed himself a small smile. It did. They had worked their arses off working in reverse to understand the biometric security system and it had finally paid off. When they trapized through the small control room, Eggsy looked at Harry again and comunicated with hand signals. 

Go in, shoot all hostiles, retreive hostage. Harry nodded at him again and the mission continued. This time though, when Eggsy opened the door, they were expecting him. Eggsy, fortunately, had glasses that could see through a stone wall so he knew what was behind the door. He shot from behind his umbrella, which had been strapped to his back the whole night, until he ran out of ammo. He then let Harry shoot his own fill, trading places with Eggsy in less than a second and shot until every last man was down for the count and the only living breathing creature in the room was tied down to a table and unconscious. Eggsy warily put the umbrella down and walked around the room. 

¨Merlin?¨ He asked as he made his way to the small girl who was strapped down to the table. Eggsy normally wouldn't have needed his handler's advice, except that there was a bomb secured on top of the girl and it was going to detonate in two and a half minutes. 

¨Okay, do you see that red wire, Tristan?¨ Eggsy picked it up and Merlin nodded even though Eggsy couldn't see it. 

¨Yes that one, clip it please.¨ Eggsy clipped it and waited for further instruction while Harry covered him, making sure he was safe from all sides. 

¨Now there's a button under the machine. Press it, but you'll have to be very quick, it'll speed the time left by twice the speed. Once you've pressed it, you're going to dissemble it piece by piece. You will only have thirty seconds to do so, so you bloody well be able to do it. Do it now.¨ 

Right, like those words didn't put any pressure on Eggsy's shoulders. Eggsy looked at the little princess and was inspired almost immediately. Someone had taken a hot piece of metal and branded her on almost every available inch of her stomach. The rest of her was covered in bruises and welts, and he could tell that she'd been whipped as well. They had already killed every single guard here, but they knew that Maslow wasn't in the cave at all this evening, and god was he going to enjoy killing the motherfucker himself. Eggsy took care of the bomb seconds before it would have killed them all and quickly picked up the princess. She thrashed in his arms as she came to and he couldn't quite keep her from kicking and pushing at him. Harry came by to subdue her though he looked incredibly reluctant to do so. Eggsy figured it was because the girl had been held down enough and he didn't want to. Still, he held her ankles and Eggsy deactivated the bomb, but once he removed it, it started beeping in his hands again. 

¨Fuck, Erec take the girl out of the cave and get out of here!¨ Eggsy shouted and Harry, the arsehole, took the bomb from him and gave him the girl. Eggsy was so surprised and so worried for the girl that he took her and with one last glance at Harry, bolted from the room. Harry used a tiny microscopic laser on the bomb to open the titanium casing and dissembled the bomb even further to the point where it was just the very bomb in his hands. 

¨You have less than t minus twenty seconds, Erec!¨ Merlin told him desperately and Eggsy almost turned from his path to go back. He'd never make it to save Harry on time but he couldn't just stand there while Harry was fiddling with a bomb. He stopped in his tracks and made to turn back but Roxy shouted at him so he continued, taking only a couple of steps before Merlin spoke again. 

¨T minus five seconds.¨ Merlin said and his voice was laced with so much quiet agony that Eggsy found himself stopping again. He shouldn't have left Harry by himself. He should have let him take the princess instead. He counted down the five seconds until the bomb would activate but right when the two seconds hit, Harry and Merlin spoke simultaneously. 

¨Bomb deactivated.¨ 

¨Yes!¨ 

Eggsy exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and the little girl in his arms patted his face with her hand, curiosity written plain on her face. ¨He's alright.¨ Eggsy breathed and the little girl frowned deeper so he figured she didn't speak English. 

¨Erec, rendezvous with Tristan at a thousand feet north from the cave, pick up will be there via helicopter.¨ Roxy said, sounding utterly calm and collected. Eggsy set the little girl down and removed his jacket quickly so he could shrug it on her. She winced when the material brushed over her fresh wounds but she patted his arm in a way that made her think she was thanking him. 

*** 

 

When they were picked up from the mountain side, Eggsy handed Princess Maya over to the EMT before he turned to look at Harry. Harry was already looking at him, and he could tell that he was about to apologize, so Eggsy turned and walked into the plane before he could say something he'd regret. If Harry apologized to him right now Eggsy might be tempted to shoot him in the thigh just for the scare he gave him. Also because he disobeyed an order. Well that one might not count, actually. Eggsy was technically his equal now and they were both there just because Harry needed to be partnered for his first mission and while 'Take the princess and get the fuck out of here' could be seen as suggestion, Eggsy still wanted to break his finger for not doing it. 

Eggsy doesn't say anything to Harry on the plane even though Harry just looks like he's itching to. 

¨Murray, relocate us to a safehouse, please.¨ Eggsy says once the Princess is handed off to the correct people. Harry opens his mouth to ask him why, or where they're going, but Eggsy leaves his seat and stalks off to the cockpit so he doesn't have to control his filter very much. He takes off his glasses once he's with Murray because he doesn't want Roxy to bitch at him but also because he wants to forget he's a Kingsman for a second. 

Eggsy can't wrap his head around the thought that Harry had almost died, AGAIN. The man had survived a bullet to the face and here he was, making reckless decisions like Eggsy wouldn't die if he didn't exist anymore. It made him want to ball up his fists and use them, though he didn't think he'd ever be able to hit Harry of all people. Maybe Murray could read him, maybe he was just an insighful bloke, but he offered his two cents anyway. 

¨They learn, my young sir.¨ Is all he says but Eggsy thanks him anyway. He's right and he'll patiently tell Harry why he's so crossed with him when they land. 

*** 

They're barely inside of the house when Harry finally speaks. 

¨Eggsy, I'm so -¨ but then Eggsy turns around and shoves him abruptly into the wall. He scrambles for the glasses on his face and then the one's on Harry's, removing them both before Harry can even gasp, before speaking. 

¨Sorry? I sure as hell hope so!¨ He's shouting. He's shouting at Harry fucking Hart and holding him to the wall by the shoulders of his weather proof jacket when he said he was going to gently reprimand him. ¨It was reckless and stupid and you could have gotten yourself killed!¨ 

¨I know, I'm sorry.¨ Harry apologizes sincerely and Eggsy wants to be mad; he wants to shake Harry until he promises never to do something that reckless again, but Harry's hazel eyes are contrite and he looks disappointed with himself and Eggsy loses the ire he had building in his body. He releases him and steps away to take a breather, but Harry just steps into his space again. 

¨Talk to me, Eggsy.¨ Harry breathes and Eggsy exhales slowly, and fully, before deciding to be completely honest even though he's so mad and so upset he'll probably be brutally truthful to the point where he might confess his love for him. He speaks his thoughts, anyway. 

¨I lost you once already.¨ He murmurs. ¨I can't stand the though' that I almos' lost you again, and only because you decided you'd rather detonate a bomb yourself two seconds before it was set to explode.¨ He shudders and once the shudder happens he realizes that his whole body is shaking. Once this realization makes itself knows, Eggsy is aware that his breathing has become erratic and that he's frozen to the spot. Harry notices this and Eggsy is ridiculously grateful that he was in his right mind when he ripped both of their glasses off their faces so this moment - panic attack, his brain informs him belatedly - isn't going on record. 

Harry is quick to wrap his arms around the blond and he sets them down on the big couch, Eggsy somehow haphazardly sitting on Harry's lap with his arms clutched tight around his shoulders and neck. ¨It's okay, Eggsy. I'm here.¨ 

Eggsy sobs into Harry's neck, ridiculously aware that he's going to have to request a new mentor for Harry because of this. Harry being reckless can't be helped, this is how he was before Eggsy met him, and this is how he's going to be. If Eggsy can't keep a cork because Harry's job is dangerous, than he simply cannot be around him on missions for their own safety until Eggsy gets a better handle on the situation. The thought makes him miserable and he's gasping Harry's name because it's the only coherent thing his anxiety rattled brain will let him blubber. Harry is holding him close and tight and making soothing noises though, and it's the physical proof that Harry Hart is in his arms, alive and well that finally lets him breathe huge lungfulls of air. He shudders his way into shaking off the panic attack and Harry keeps up his soft murmurs. 

¨Good boy, Eggsy, that's right.¨ He murmurs, and he's running his hands through Eggsy's soft hair and Eggsy relaxes a hint more into his body. ¨I'm right here, and I'll always be around.¨ Harry promises him and Eggsy clutches him tight again because Harry doesn't have the right to promise him this when a year ago he told him he was coming back, and then he got shot. There was never a guarantee any moment wouldn't be their last. Still, Eggsy finds comfort in the smell of Harry now, clean, with a hint of sweat and the same cologne the late Harry had worn. It's comforting and he can breathe normally again, albeit the small hiccups that once in awhile make his body twitch. 

¨I'm s-sorry.¨ Eggsy stutters and Harry pulls gently away, still holding on to his waist, to look at his face. He probably isn't a pretty sight right now since his eyes get red and puffy when he cries and he's been crying a bit now, and there's probably snot under his nose. 

¨You've nothing to apologize for.¨ Harry mumbles. ¨I should have let you take care of the bomb when you told me to run. You could've done it faster.¨ He says and yes, that's true, but Eggsy can't agree right now, not when he knows he's going to have to speak to Merlin and give him a whole rundown of their conversation. Maybe he should have left their glasses on, if only to save face and time, but he didn't know what he was going to do or what he was going to say when he and Harry were in the privacy of the safe house and he can't regret it now. He can't regret anything, anymore. 

Eggsy delicately starts to remove himself from Harry's lap and realizes he has to break Harry's hold on his waist if he wants to get off him. The young KIngsman looks absolutely reluctant to release him, but he does so after just another pause. Eggsy knows how he feels because he feels exactly the same. 

¨I'm gonna go -¨ He starts but Harry is nodding at him before he can finish and making his way out of the living room. 

¨To bed, right? Okay, me too. I'll see you at 0500, Tristan.¨ He says and Eggsy feels himself closing off at the words. How many times is he going to hurt Harry just to save himself from hurting? Is hurting him going to be the only way they can work together? Eggsy watches him walk away and if he feels like he's going to break from the tension between them, he doesn't allow himself to acknowledge it even one bit. He goes to bed that night in the huge bedroom of the safehouse and tries to think about anything but Harry sleeping down the hall from him when last year, if things hadn't gone the way they had, Harry would be sleeping in his arms. No regrets. He's not allowed those anymore. 


End file.
